When we were in Williams, we took an evening and walked around a cemetery.
The lighting was perfect and I got some pictures that have ministered to me.
My mind has been focused on the cross lately.
And on my Redeemer.
And on my righteousness.
And on His righteousness.
I have been longing for Home.
I was at a conference last weekend at John MacArthur's church.
It was entitled Women Discipling Women
and it was all about Biblical Counseling.
Martha Peace and Elyse Fitzpatrick were just two of the wonderful women speakers.
One thing that Elyse said that really got my attention was something to
the effect that
we all long to lie in bed at night and be able to rest in our own righteousness. Our natural man is wired that way. In my brain it sounds like,
"Lord, I just want to end the day being able to say
that I did well,
so You'll be proud of me (and I can be proud of me),
but instead all I see are my mistakes and short-failings,
and I feel so unworthy to come to You."
Oh, if I really understood the concept of "righteousness" and God's standard, I would NEVER want to stand in my own righteousness.
It is a constant fight to remind myself that I have no righteousness of my own,
but that Jesus has lived a perfect life (the one I long to live but can't!),
taken the punishment that I deserve for failing to be perfect,
and given me His record of perfect obedience.
That's what I want to rest in.
When I see my sin, I get discouraged.
I feel myself falling into the pit of self-pity,
That is to stand in the place of pride,
and therefore to miss the waterfall of grace
that our Lord promises to those who stand in the place of humility:
"Lord, have mercy on me, the sinner!"
That is not "adorning the Gospel".
As a child of God,
live in the reality of Christ's imputed righteousness for me.
"Lord, have mercy!"
"Save me from myself!"
"Revive me according to Your righteousness,
'cause my own is drowning me in the sea of despair!"
I must stand on the promises, and
lift my eyes to the hills,
from whence cometh my help.
"I will glory in my Redeemer,
His faithfulness, my standing place."