May 2, 1995
was the day that I was told that Earl Miles, Jr. was interested in getting to know me.
My journal entry for that day:
" . . . Mom just informed me that her and I have a meeting at the church with Norm tonight in an hour. Yes, I am nervous. Father, please calm my heart. Help me to trust You and to remember that You hold all things in Your hand ~ even my emotions. Please grant Norm and Mom wisdom and discernment and keep all of us from rushing Your spirit or working self-will . . .(later) on the outside, I am maintaining a calmness, no emotion. I have purposed to not share anything with anyone else until the next step occurs ~ he comes out here? Right now, may I maintain the mind of Christ and not be carried away by emotions that could be misleading. But deep down - I'm excited! However, there is fear when I think of myself as a wife. I can see myself as a mother, but I feel as if I fall so short when it comes to being a wife. What keeps coming to mind though, is that my focus needs to be on "my husband" and his needs, not my own. Oh, Father - grow within me the heart of a servant!"
I remember standing in my room alone,
at the foot of my bed,
and praying . . .
feeling as if my whole life was about to change,
and confessing my fear.
Yet, His sweet Spirit calmed my heart
with the truth that He never changes . . .
though my world often does and will.
He had been my God for the last 16 years
and was intimately acquainted with all my ways,
and He would walk with me through the coming years
just as He had the past.
I could count on His faithfulness.
How great is His faithfulness!
15 months later we were married.
And my life changed.
It became more wonderful than I had ever imagined!
In a world where divorce is rampant
and women are plagued with thinking they "made a mistake" when they got married,
our testimony is and has been and will continue to be,
it's our Redeemer who is faithful and true!
We fail often.
Yet, His work of grace in our lives keeps us waking up each morning
looking to Him (not each other)
for all we need.
And boy does He supply!
We spent a wonderful day together yesterday
just talking and talking,
in ways we hadn't for a long time.
Oh . . . do I love that man!!