Saturday, May 29, 2010

Hope That Does Not Disappoint


I love this mug.
I bought it for my mother on Mother's Day.
It would be impossible to be a mother without "hope".
But there are lots of different kinds of hope.
I'm pondering the kind that "does not disappoint" as is talked about in Romans 5:5.

It was exposed in me this past week,
that I've been hoping in something that DOES disappoint.
I've been hoping in my kids.
I've been hoping in myself.
I've been hoping in my plans and my ability to make them happen.
I've been hoping in lots of things other than in God and the fact that He controls all things . . .
for my good.
For. My. Good.

Can I share a little here?
I love teaching.
I love my kids.
I love the learning that takes place.
But this year has been full of changes and it has been downright hard.
I need a break.
I am looking forward to summer.
(Yep . . . I'm hoping in summer.)
I'm looking forward to putting this year behind us.
I'm looking forward to working on some new and fresh ideas to make next year more manageable.
I'm looking forward to a break from what has been for me . . .
drudgery.
(Homeschooling has rarely been drudgery for me over the past 14 years,
but this year it has been.)
I want to do some home improvement projects.
I want to spend time doing something creative with my photography.
I want to spend more time blogging.
I want,
I want,
I want.

This past week . . .
it began to look like all of my plans and "hopes" were going to have to be postponed as some of my kids were going to have to do some
summer school.

Now, when I was teaching in the classroom,
if a student didn't finish the assigned work,
he just got a "zero" for that assignment and his graded reflected that.
But in our homeschool,
the goal is for the student to actually LEARN the material,
and we have the luxury of taking as much time as we need on it.

So, I have a dilemma.
Do I take back the assignments?
Do I give them a break and have them finish it next year, hoping they'll catch up?
Or, do we spend a little bit more extra time this summer finishing it up?
But if my kids are in school,
then I'M in school,
and "my projects" have to wait.
I only have 6 weeks of break. That's not very long.

Sigh.
My flesh is waging war inside me.
Serve my kids joyfully?
Or throw a tantrum and make these next few weeks miserable for all of us?

Jan, what in the world does this ranting have to do with hope, you may ask?
Don't you see?
My hope is in the fact that I need 6 weeks to recover and refresh myself.
And it is threatening to be taken away from me.
My idol has been exposed.
If my hope is in God,
Who created the world by just a word,
and in the fact that He can command my refreshment with just a word,
then I would find the grace to serve my children joyfully no matter what their needs.

Do you find yourself frustrated in your parenting?
Do you think your children should be "farther along" by now?
Are you tired of having to serve them in certain ways . . . supervising chores, supervising homework, training in various duties and tasks, etc. etc?
Do you think you would be happier and more content if things weren't the way they are?
May you, along with me, fight to trust in a God
Who commands our joy.
His counsel stands.
He has proven Himself faithful time and time again.
He has never failed to provide for me.



"May you know the hope to which God has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance.
Ephesians 1:18

2 comments:

sethswifeforlife said...

Oh my, I could have almost written that post. Are you sure you weren't inside MY head??!!! LOL! Today, this evening, a few hours ago, I felt God's peace and HIS presence FILL me, overwhelm me, and my JOY is made complete in him. Then I read this and was so encouraged and thankful that my HOPE is in HIM. I just thanked Him tonight in the car a few hours ago for his loving (yes, loving, not cruel, as it may sometimes seem) sovereignty. For the patience HE is instilling in me. For the trust I can have in HIM along....not in anything else.
Anyway, what a timely post to read tonight before I drift off to sleep resting in HIS promises!

Love you, dear friend! (couldn't we just have a day together?!). I'll be thinking of you as we have days of summer school ahead of us too. (And any insights for next year's schooling, pass 'em along to me!)
Oh, and the songs on your blog are in my "favorites" list on itunes. Always a lifter up of my spirits!

Love,
Abs~

Bekka said...

Great post, Mrs. Miles. I am encouraged by you and your desire for perseverance and hope in God!

As a kid I definitely can see the hard work you moms (especially mine) put into schooling us. I know for me that it will be very challenging, if the Lord wills, when I become a parent and a homeschool mom. So I hope, and pray, that you will keep it up with a joyful and content spirit, Mrs. Miles! <3

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