This was a post I drafted a few months back. It was a little too personal to publish then. But I want to publish it, because it is the truth of where I live sometimes. And it's the truth that I need to be reminded of again and again. I'm past that part of my "road", but I'm confident that it will come across my path again. And oh how grateful I am for those the Lord has put around me who patiently forebear with me while I'm fighting and who courageously challenge me with the truth so I will continue to fight. If anyone reads this blog, can you relate to any of this? O, that my trials might be even remotely used to encourage another pilgrim to keep fighting to walk forward!
When you hear me say "We're fighting again", which of my relationships come to mind? Husband? Children? Extended family? Friends? Any of those would be true, sadly. Whenever you have two sinners in relationship, you will have conflict, and I am no exception. But that is not the relationship I was thinking of when I wrote my title.
I was thinking of me and Jesus. Does that surprise you? Oh, we're not fighting against each other. That fight was waged and won on the cross and in the empty tomb. No, I'm fighting against the lies about God that sometimes flood out of my sinful heart, reminding me once again that I'm still in the process of sanctification and that were it not for the staying power of Christ, I would not be following Him of my own accord. (Oh how my body groans to do away with this body of death and to be clothed with immortality!) I'm fighting to see God as He truly is. I'm fighting to stand once again in faith on God's faithfulness. I'm fighting to trust God enough to fully let go of my "life" - to truly lay down, to give back to Him, all of the good gifts He's given me. I'm clinging so tightly to them right now. I don't want to give them up. I don't trust Him. But I want to. And I'm fighting to.
And Jesus is fighting on my behalf. He is praying on my behalf that I will remain strong. He is interceding before the throne of grace on my behalf. "For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted" (Hebrews 2:18).
So, on Christ my solid Rock, I stand. So help me, God!